Shopping, watermains, tantrums, tears and spankings

Thursday 3rd November 2011

Oh what a morning I have had this morning.  I would love to say roll on home time but when home time comes I’m facing very nasty consequences of last night’s  shopping fail and this morning’s major bad temper. 

I got a taste this morning of what is coming and a promise that it won’t be forgotten … I don’t like my bathroom anymore – it has too many cords hanging around just handy for him to grab, fold over and whip me with.

I’ll go back to last night and shopping.

What a major fail.  I tried.  I did listen to him.  I tried so hard, but is it my fault prices increase? I failed to stick to the budget.  I have been doing so well too.  I am disappointed in myself but maybe I had become too complacent?

He didn’t ask last night and I didn’t volunteer the information – another black mark. 

This morning dawned and over a cup of tea I told him about the shopping.  Nothing, not a word was said - at first.  Then it was discovered we had no water.  Changes are happening at work and I HAD to be here on time first thing this morning to work for a new boss.  I was stressing about it anyway – suddenly I couldn’t get ready, my hair was a mess, I couldn’t have a shower, I was going to be late, my son would be late for school,   I ended up have a very nasty hissy fit and swearing at him and accused him of not wanting to help out by taking the kids to school and not wanting to be a family unit.  I told him to fuck off (Oh god that is so bad and awful).  I stormed off to the bathroom to finish trying to get ready for work (as best I could) and I heard his footsteps behind me.

Uh oh! 

I started crying as he came into the bathroom.  Not bawling but tears spilling over.

Yup, he started yelling back at me that it’s not his fault and that I shouldn’t be taking it out on him and how dare I say such horrible things to him.

“Where is that cord” he said as he turned me around and folded the cord up and managed to whip my butt all in one swift move (how do they do that!).  I got three good whacks with the cord – owie it hurts.  And I was told in no uncertain terms that tonight we are going through the shopping receipt to see where I can do better – yawn – and I will be getting a more substantial punishment for both the shopping fail and my temper tantrum, and such behaviour will not be tolerated.  I admit even though it was only three swipes with the cord it calmed me down.  I felt better immediately.

I am feeling very ashamed of how I reacted and I feel terribly guilty for what I said to him.  I know I deserve whatever he wants to give me.  I actually hope I get a good lecture from him first.  I don’t feel overly bad about the grocery shopping.  I do try very hard to stick to it.  I’m sure they put prices up just before Christmas.

I so wish it was tomorrow already.