Sub Drop

“Sub drop is the name given to a feeling after a scene. The endorphins fade and the body is asked to pay. In can happen immediately afterwards or 24 to 48 hours after a scene has finished. Sometimes it can be mild other times it can be quite severe”. I think I might have suffered with this yesterday, well since Monday actually. Today is Wednesday. I started writing this post on Tuesday and I was feeling....well down, sad, unhappy with me, unhappy with Sir. I felt that Sir has dropped the ball after our maintenance session on Sunday. Though after talking to my good friend Sweetgirl she assures me wholeheartedly that Sir has not dropped the ball, in fact quite the opposite he has the ball very much in his grasp. But it didn’t feel that way. Though I was assured it will pass. I’ve never felt this way before. And I don't know what can help it. Except, maybe another spanking to spank it out of me? We had a really good maintenance session on Sunday night...in our new place...the shed. I have been struggling lately with staying in position and this seemed to help...knowing the kids were asleep in the house and couldn't hear us at all. It was quite ritualistic and just plain different than our usual sessions. Just what I needed! I even felt embarrassed standing there with my pants pooled around my ankles, bottom bared waiting for the instruction to bend over the special stool he had found for this very purpose. I mean how many times has this man seen me naked, bared my bottom to spank it and all of a sudden I’m embarrassed by it. Sunday was "the works" for me. Monday I fully expected to have a great day. I didn't. It started off with a broken rule that was not followed through on. Fair enough. Write it down in my book for later, that is what the book is there for. I then had a few "I'll march you straight out to the shed" moments that were never followed through. Then Sir decided he was going to have a bath. I had figured that as he was off for the night, anything that needed dealing with he would have done...immediate consequences and all of that. Err Sir had other ideas. At 10.30 - my bedtime - the rule that Sir set for me - he was still in the bath. I came up stairs, cleaned my teeth, got into my nighty, all the usual ablutions. Sir kept asking me what was wrong. Then he told me that I wasn't going to get a visit to the shed. Despite the fact that earlier on he declared that I was getting one. That’s when my attitude started big time, I must have finished off my nightly ritual with an ATTITUDE . I even started to cry. I asked him rather sharply was he ever going to get out of the bath because it was my bedtime now...I went into the bedroom and pulled back the bed sheets and made to get in to it. He came out of the bathroom with a towel around him and stood in front of me, finally figuring out what was wrong. He had spent a rare day off all afternoon with the kids and the night in the bath...plus a promised spanking was now not going to happen. He closed the door and told me to bend over the side of the bed. I argued with him (not such a good idea at this stage) and said "I thought you didn't want to, so just forget it, it doesn't matter" He said he had changed his mind and decided that I definitely needed one after my little show of attitude. So over I went. Out came his studded belt. Owwwww, bloody hell, it hurt (yes i know punishment is meant to hurt) and that’s what is was, a punishment. I cried (I cry nearly every time these days)...he finished up and I said I was very sorry for my bad attitude. I asked if I could come back downstairs for 10 minutes with him. At first he said no and I started to cry harder and then he said yes. So we had a cuppa together and a snuggle and then he sent me back up to bed at 11.15 he came and tucked me in with a kiss and an I love you. (He stayed up much later as he is back to work) But I had all these feelings and emotions that I can't really put into words. I was feeling down and depressed and just not right. Not like I usually feel after a spanking. Plus he told me to get up on Tuesday morning and do my step aerobics. I didn't. Partly because I thought deep down there will be no follow through. (I did leave him a note to tell him I didn't do it and that could he please TELL me to do it Tuesday night and I will). Maybe the exercise will help with this sub drop - if that's what it is - maybe it’s just PMS. Maybe I'll just hang in there and let it pass...another learning curve. ------------------------------------------------------ OK I started writing this on Tuesday morning. It’s now Wednesday night. I am feeling a whole heap better. Not because I got a spanking or anything, well, yes partly, but mainly because Sir did show his authority. I was TOLD last night to do my step aerobics – and I did. I got a telling off for not doing it in the morning as I was directed to. I “broke my directive” I was told.  (Directive -Sir's new word) I was TOLD that I had to get up this morning and do them. I did. I think possibly the endorphin rush of the exercise has helped but also the fact that he didn’t let my lack of exercise slide, even though there was no spanking for it. I was TOLD in no uncertain terms there will be T.R.O.U.B.L.E if I don’t. (And we all know just how much of a magnet to trouble I am). I was also TOLD that if there was any arguing with Little Miss there would be T.R.O.U.B.L.E I was TOLD to be in bed at 10.30pm….(I haven’t mentioned it to Him yet but I didn’t make it to bed until 11.30pm oops – hey I’m no angel) - (yes I know Roz, and tonight too) So I think my sub drop – if that is what is was – is now over. Not as nice a feeling as sub space. Let’s hope I don’t experience it again for a while. But if I do, it’s just a matter of waiting it out for it to pass and getting to our peaceful place that I love once again.     (And now its bedtime, well past actually, night all xx)

The Shed

(sorry I couldnt find a pic of a shed in the moonlight)

The shed stood hidden behind the thick expanse of trees at the back of the house.  She had been to the shed many times before, but never for this particular reason.  This was new.  Very new.   It was a full moon and a cloudless sky as she walked slowly up the path to the shed door, the silvery blue moonlight shone its path as if highlighting the way only for her.  "Typical" she thought.  She could hear Sir's footfalls behind her.  Not a word was spoken and she clung to her book and reached the door.  The door began to open as Sir pressed the remote control from behind her.    He stepped inside before her and switched on the light.  She blinked, her mouth suddenly dry.  Sir had done some clearing up and there in front of her was his work bench cleared and spread out where his implements.  In front of the bench was a small two-step step stool with a cushion draped across the top bar.

 

He beckoned her inside with a nod of his head, not speaking.  He closed the door behind her.

As instructed she had come out without any underwear on, just her t-shirt and pants. 

"Right" he said shortly.

"You know what to do, pull down those pants"

She did so, standing in front of him, eyes cast down toward the concrete floor, her trousers pooled around her ankles.

She felt nervous, her mouth was dry.  How many times had she been spanked before, but like this was a first. 

She felt humiliated.  Not quite, perhaps humiliated was too strong a word.  Perhaps ashamed was more akin to her feelings.

"You know why you are here young lady don’t you?" he questioned.

"Yes sir" she replied quietly.  "It's been a bad week"  She placed her book in his outstretched hand.  As she did so, she eyed the implements on the work bench.  The paddle, the cane, two tails and the leather hand spanker.

"Yes indeed woman, it has" he answered quickly.  "You know what to do, bend over"

He placed a hand on her back as she bend across the step stool.  Her tummy rested comfortably on the cushion and she reached her hands down to the first black step, and remembered to breathe.

Sir lifted her t-shirt and she felt the cold hard cover of her book rest on her back.

She felt a sharp bite on her bottom as Sir tapped her bottom with the cane twice "Don’t move, don’t let the book drop or you will get that as extra" he warned.  She nodded "Yes sir" she whispered.

Sir started to read from the first entry on the page and when he stopped she felt the first slaps land hard on her bottom, first on one side and then the other.  Sir was using the leather hand spanker.  She was surprised AND relieved at this.  A warm up first.  Maybe tonight she could stay in position.  He spanked all over her bottom, both sides, top bottom and all around and on the back her thighs at the top.  That was quite ouchy.

Then out came the big guns.  The paddle. He walloped her hard for a few minutes reading the book as he went.  Her eyes we closed tightly and she breathed against the pain, willing her hands to stay put.  She reached round to touch his leg once, to try and hold on to his shin, but he shrugged her off and told her to put her hands back.  He instructed her not to let go of the step. 

Her bottom was burning now and she raised her foot once or twice and stamped her foot as the paddle landed with a heavy thud against her punished bottom.

The tears started to come through her tightly closed eyes.  She whispered she was sorry and she would try to better.

He stopped with the paddle and she stretched up rubbing her bottom.

"Get back down, that’s the book done, now I can start on maintenance" he said in a low stern voice.

"No please" she pleaded with him, wiping her eyes.  But to no avail.  She received two whacks of the cane on her thighs for her trouble.  So across the stool she bent once more.  The cane swished down hard on her bottom and she moaned and cried softly as it bit into her already paddled behind.  he targeted the top of her thighs.  It was too much and she jumped up pleading for it to be over.

"Get down" he said to her pleas.  She got another whack on the thighs because she didn’t get back down quick enough.  He caned her bottom a few more times and then brought out two tails.  It cracked across her bottom and then he smacked her in a downward movement and then her thighs. Once again, she jumped up hugging her bottom with her hands,.

"Please, please stop" she sobbed "I cant take anymore"

"Get back down right now Ill decide when you have had enough" he replied showing no mercy.

She bent back down across the stool, took a breath and gripped the legs of the stool as he finished.  A few more strokes of the cane and two tails and then he was done

She lay across the stool softy crying.

"Stay in position" he warned.  As he tidied up and pottered around the shed for a few minutes. 

"OK" he said finally "Pull your pants up, come on back to the house" 

She quickly did as she was told, he hugged her and she whispered that she would do better next week.

"I know" he said "I know"



I'm a T.R.O.U.B.L.E. magnet

 

 

It's not my fault. I swear it's not. I'm in trouble again. I can't believe it. And Yes again over DVDs. They are becoming the bain of my life. (Could be a good thing) You all know I confessed to Sir on Sunday last about the DVDs that I had bought. And he dealt with that and I promised myself never again. I will from now on ask him or talk to him about buying them (funny what you will promise when face down on the bed over pillows while your bottom is being spanked hard with a wooden paddle). But saying that, I did really mean it. Anyway, one of the things Sir said to me on Sunday before he spanked me was that all I had to do was ask about a DVD and the likelihood is he would have agreed. I felt pretty bad after he said that. I then, with a very cheeky grin, asked him (I'm not known for my timing) if I could buy season 7 of Greys Anatomy (one I don't have yet). He laughed and said he couldn't believe my cheek, but no, of course not, not now, I'd just lost that one. (God loves a trier, so they say, even if that trier exasperates Sir at times) I accepted with grace and accepted the consequences. Over and done with. Until I got into work yesterday morning and found an email from the site that I usually order my DVDs from. O.M.G. OMG!!! I had already ordered the Greys DVD. Literally I had completely forgotten. Basically because I have, for a few weeks now, well probably a couple of months, tossed and turned over the idea of ordering it. Yes I will, no I wont. Finally I must have ordered it (the price must have been right) and completely forgot because I've not yet paid for it. OOPS!!!!! I mean how lame is that, I forgot I had ordered it. But its TOTALLY true. At bedtime last night I rang sir to say goodnight (see I can be a good girl) and I confessed. Of course he doesn't believe me. He simply said in very clipped tones "I. Don't. Believe. You". (I could take that a couple of ways, either he doesn't believe that I did completely forget or that he just doesn't believe my audacity. If its the latter, then I think I might be in BIG trouble - coz that seems worse to me). He then told me to write it in my book. Which I have done. Please say your prayers for me. I love tulips if you ever pass by my grave.......   OHHHHH and yes now, to top it all off...I've just discovered that Season 8 (the best one yet - just watching on TV now) is due to be released on DVD in 2 weeks time. (Can I cry now and have a tantrum) if only I hadn't messed up in the first place with this stupid DVD "thing" of mine. That'l teach me! (or not)!



HELP...posting pics problems

Can anyone help...I cant seem to load pictures on my blog - only ones I have used before.  I used to be able to click on the icon "insert image" then click on browse and find a picture that i had previously saved on the computer to use.  Now that has disappeared.  I cant even find a picture and copy and paste it.  All I seem to be able to do is use pictures from this blog already used.  There appears to be an "upload" button, but when i click on it, nothing happens.

It says i can upload JPG GIF and PNG files - but no way of doing so....anyone got any ideas?

Keeping his word

I was a good girl last night, in bed by 10.30pm sharp and on the phone to Sir to say goodnight even though I had another confession to make (but that's another story) He asked me how my bottom was from Sunday night - speckled was the answer...like a birds egg....speckled all over and very sore. He said it was probably because I'd not been spanked quite like that for a while. Probably not. I also think it was because of the studded strap he used (among other things). I then mentioned that night shift is a little hard when it comes to immediate consequences. We just don't have time for Sir to deal with things as they happen before he goes to work. We are lucky if we manage 20 minutes of each other before he has to leave after I get in from work. He said to me that he would make more time for me, in fact he promised to. I told him it was OK that I understood, he is working and its difficult and we have to just get used to storing up things for our "just because" night. Then he said it was time for me to go to sleep so we said our good nights and off to dream land I went. I woke up this morning with the sun streaming through the bedroom windows and Sir wasn't yet home. So I got up and got cups of tea ready for him. He wasn't too far away. We sat and drank tea together and then headed upstairs. Him to bed, me to the shower That's when it happened. That's when he stuck to his word. That's when he found some time for me. Time to bend me over the end of the bed, pull up my nighty and spank my already sore bottom hard with the paddle. Why? Towel on the bed! Darn it. Yes, last night I had a bath and afterwards, I'd gotten out and laid a towel on the bed and laid on the bed (I like my baths rather hot) under the ceiling fan cooling off. I'd left the towel on the bed and forgotten to put it away in the bathroom. There it was, large as life, on his side of the bed crumpled up waiting to get me into trouble. Again! (In my defense, my bed is covered with such a huge amount of cuddly soft bedding that things just get "lost" in it - and I just forgot about the towel - well that's my story and I'm sticking to it) Yes the paddling was short but it hurt. Six of the best! His words punctuating the swats "Don't. LEave. WEt. TOWELS. ON. BED".... (as his words got louder, his swats got harder). Painful. But Good. I've got those little butterflies in my stomach still just thinking about it and that little knowing smile on my face today.

Maintenance + Punishment = A very sore and sorry bottom.

 

 

Why can't I manage to be a good girl? 

 

Not only did I get maintenance last night but I had a whole weeks worth of punishments to face.  How hard is it to follow His rules?  I don't have a lot of them and the rules I do have a very easy and straight forward. 

 

We had maintenance last night as usual.    Boy oh boy did I pick a bad time to make a confession.  One lesson I did learn last night was not to make a confession on maintenance night.  One of the rules is that I can't buy a DVD without first not asking as such but talking with Sir.  DVD's are my only vice.  So I confessed yesterday about the 5 DVDs I've bought over the last few weeks (well, 3 weeks to be exact) (and the irony is one of them is the movie A Dangerous Method - I bought it because of course the spanking scenes - and I get spanked for it ha ha.  Turns out to be a bloody good movie overall).  Anyway, one he liked, another one he already knew about apparently so that was down to 3.  He declared that I would get 5 strokes  of white tail for each of the three DVDs he didn't know about.    I also nearly got sent to bed in the afternoon and not allowed to watch one of them while he watched it - but I managed to wangle out of that.  Not sure how I would feel about it.  I mean I would have done as I was told had he insisted, but he didn't.  I said it was up to him, he was the boss.  He, in the end, told me to stay put. 

But the look that he gave me when I confessed was enough to make me feel bad.  Its not that we cant afford them, but we do have other more important stuff to do with our money.  I know this.  So I did feel bad.

 

Night shift is really hard for punishments.  It means most of the time we have to wait until the weekend to deal with them.  I had a whole weeks worth of lack of exercise, missed bedtimes, even last Sunday night I was watching the clock and he wasn't so an hour went by before he realised.  That was taken into account last night too.  Plus a late bedtime on Monday night too even though I rang him and said I was headed to bed, I didn't actually head to bed.  Oops.  Wednesday night he had to chase me up and ring me at 10.45 to ask why I wasn't in bed already.  That was dealt with last night too.

 

A wet towel on the bed on Saturday...

 

Not drinking my milk...

 

Back chatting and having  bad attitude.... 

 

No exercise all week....

 

And then just general maintenance ....

 

And finally the 15 strokes of white tail......all taken care of last night.

 

AND I had to stand in front of him and read from my book....rather than him reading.  He had laid out the pillows on the bed, laid out all the implements including white tail.  So it was a little intimidating.

 

Let us just say my bottom is very VERY sore...and marked and will be for a little while I think.  Today I am one very sorry bottom.  I couldn't take all 15 strokes of white tail.  I am ashamed to say that after only 3 I rolled over and sat on my behind and refused to take any more from whitetail.  So in the end I got the cane, paddle, and the studded strap.

 

I wish I could better stay in position.  But usually after about 5 or 6 strokes I start to wriggle about and eventually I jump up and have to take a minute or two to regain my composure and poor Sir gets so frustrated with me and angry.  I must try harder to stay in position.  My good friend Sweetgirl has suggested we try mental bondage.  Where, during a fun and light spanking I imagine I'm tied down and cant move - so I have to try not to move at all.  It might help.  Otherwise I can see him having to tie me down to spank me.  On the other hand he could just put me over his knee for a change and pin me down with his legs and arm.

 

But I really must try harder to be good, and when I'm not good and facing punishments, to stay in position. 

Mended Bones

This is my first week back at work after thee weeks off over Christmas. It's been tiring. But I don't have any children at home this week to contend with when I get home, so that has been a small blessing. I've been able to get on with some housework and just relax when I get home. It's been great. Good news. My arm is healed. Fully, 100% with about as much chance of me breaking it as the next person. Yipee. Finally, almost a year - :D I'm extatic. I havent blogged for a week or so. I seem to have lost my writing mojo - not that I am much good at writing but there doesnt seem to be much to write about. DD is going along smoothly. If i do something wrong I get punished for it. End of. He sets rules, if I dont follow them, he follows through. He even chased me up the other night becuase it had gotten to 10.45pm and I hadnt rung him goodnight. He wanted to know why I wasnt in bed ringing him. Funny thing was I was just about to. So yes last night I made sure I was in bed by 10.30 and ringing him. So in effect, I really dont feel like I have much to write about...plus this last week each night Ive gotten home, cooked dinner, fed the animals and then Ive been pottering about doing housework so I have been tired by the time it comes to sit down and relax. So far this week I've not been spanked. But that doesnt mean to say I've not done anything to deserve one. I have. Its all written down. I missed my bed time by an hour on Monday night. Sunday night last, I was watching the clock, Sir wasnt and it got to 11.30 before he realized. HE thought it was 10.30 at 11.30 (he read the clock wrong) but I knew ... so maybe I should be punished for that too...once again its in my book. (He didnt think to punish me for it at the time - but I have written it down). I suppose it was pretty sneeky and wrong of me. I have drunk my milk (yuk). Even though my arm is healed Sir initially said I could stop and then a minute later changed his mind and said I have to still drink it - for when Im older so I dont get brittle bone syndrome. But I've not done any exercise and now I have no excuse whatsoever. He has been lenient with me but I guess he won't be now. Maybe next week I'l get my writing mojo back and be able to post something decent ...and some pics to go with it.

Switching and the telephone rule!

Switiching! Now there is a topic of conversation between spankos. I'm not a switch. But there are plenty of people out there. I've never really wanted to be one. Ha, well, that was until last week when we had an incident at home with Sir. What does a bottom do when her HOH breaks one of the very serious rules he has set for her? I personally think that as a bottom I should have the right to do exactly to him what he would do to me. He doesn't agree (and unfortunately because I had the cheek to even suggest it - I got a spanking for it). The rule I speak of is the dreaded telephone rule. I have to keep my mobile phone on my person or within hands reach at all times, without exception. I think its only fair that Sir has the same rule. And my point was ever so brilliantly illustrated last week. He set off for work. We said goodbye and then I got on with cooking dinner for the kids and doing everything else a good submissive housewife does. About 20 minutes after he left the phone rang and I answered it. That dreaded voice was on the other end - yup - THORN. Sir had just rung her (yup, that's right, you read that correctly, he rang her)! Apparently he had locked his keys in the car. Could I please take the spare set to the gas station for him. As you can imagine my emotions were in absolute turmoil. I was angry, hurt, confused and belittled. Apparently Sir had locked his keys in the car, along with his mobile phone. He couldn't remember our home phone number and certainly couldn't remember my own mobile number and the only other number he could remember was Thorn and that was because its written on the chalk board at home so that Little Miss can remember it. (Errr, ummm, so is our home number Mr. HOH bossum sir) He has since memorized our home number (but it's a little like closing the stable door after the horse has bolted if you ask me) Well, its over and done with now. I had my little hissy fit and he apologised, profusely about it, assuring me it means nothing and he certainly didn't do it deliberately to hurt me. Which in my heart I know but still.... So yes, if there was ever a time for switching, I think this would be it. But he didn't go along with that idea, and like I said for my audacity of even suggesting he get a taste of his own medicine, I got a spanking! Sometimes this DD business is just no fair.   And damn!  I cant post any picture for some reason grrrr!

Let the spanking New Year begin

I have been spanked every day since before  New Years Eve.  For a number of reasons, from just a friendly over the knee good girl spanking to a serious reminder to behave this year, to punishments for infractions.

New Years eve day was just a friendly (if you can call it friendly) over the knee spanking which led to much much nicer things.    

New Years Day was a tad more serious. I was made to kneel on the chair and was paddled and caned.

I then had to get on all fours in the living room while he walked around me paddling and caning as he wished. That was hard to take I have to admit. But it made me feel extremely submissive kneeling there on the floor at his feet.

January 2nd I was taken up stairs at bedtime and I had to kneel over the bed and again I was caned and paddled and then I had to go to bed. Even though I don't have work tomorrow, In fact I don't have work until 14th January I was still made to go to bed early...yuk.


We have had a week of no parents and no children and Sir told me he would be spanking me every day - and he has. He told me last night that he will spank me whenever he decides, I can always ask for one if I feel I want or need one, and for anything I do wrong without a doubt he will spank, but he will spank anytime he wants to, where he wants and how he wants (I'm thinking he kinda liked me on my knees at his feet)

In a word, I love it. I love this dominance in him. Even though my bum is rather sore today and will be for a few days no doubt. I still love it.