Wednesday 23rd November 2011
I was going to individually reply but everyone is pretty much saying the same thing, so I thought it would be easier if i simply put my replies into another post.
Thank you guys for all your support.
I think because my thoughts were pretty scrambled and jumbled it came across like that in my post. Sorry guys.
By the time I got to the end of my post I had come to the same conclusions as you all have. I was being unfair on Him and my expectations were really way too high. In fact the only expectation I should have is that he steps up. He did that. I thought I was a submissive person, I'm finding that I'm not that submissive after all and its a hard task. Its not all about just doing as I am told or running and fetching. Its about allowing him to take control and lead US. It might have been my idea in the first place but that's where it should stop. Yes we always need to communicate with each other as to what is working and not working, that's a given. But its certainly not about me setting scenarios in my head of how I THINK it should be and then getting upset or frustrated that it didn't go down the way i thought it should in my head. Its not about that at all. But that is how i have made it - but I will change that. He knows what it is I need. He is willing to do this, to try. So now I am going to step back, let go and give him room to take charge, lead us as a couple and as a family and submit to his decisions and show him that this works for US.
I think that is excellent. Taking a step back isn't always easy, but sometimes it allows you the perspective that you need.
ReplyDeletethank you babygirl...:)
ReplyDeleteWell good for you! Like most important journeys, it's not how many times we fall down, but how many times we pick ourselves back up that counts!
ReplyDeleteSara
I hope things go well for both of you. You might find that when he sees you are allowing him to take the lead, you end up liking the result more.
ReplyDeleteGood post Kiwi. I thought I was pretty submissive too but also have come to the conclusion that maybe not quite as much as I thought! I didn't fully understand what submission actually meant. Not properly. I'm learning, albeit slowly. Glad you've sorted out your thoughts and try try again :)
ReplyDeleteDee x
Yea! My gut tells me that doing this (or at least trying to) is going to open up even more communication between the two of you. Go Kiwi!
ReplyDeleteHALLELUJA! finally....
ReplyDeleteKiwi at the moment you conclude your may not be that submissive, you decide to submit. Being submissive is something relative. We will always find some one in our path who is more submissive when we are submissive or dominant when we are dominant. I guess for you to be able to submit there should distance between his dominance and your submission. Good luck with continuation of your journey.
ReplyDeleteSARA: Exactly right :) thank you xx
ReplyDeleteLEA: I think you might be right thanks xx
DEE: thank you Dee,... im learning slowly too we will get there.
SUSIE: hehehe - i like your gut feeling xx
SWEETGIRL: LMAO i never said i was a fast learner did I? :P xxxx
ELDER hmmm yeah im finding that im not as submissive as i thought i was but it will change and grow as we change and grow in these roles. Thank you for your kind comments :)