Confession Dilema

Here is me, in my last post, waxing lyrical about how wonderful life is at the moment when in fact I have something on my mind that I think I need help with.

 

I know what the right thing to do is, but I am scared to do it.  I need to confess to Sir about something that happened between Little Miss and me last week.

 

I have probably said in the past that Little Miss and I sometimes don't get along very well.  Last week she was on the computer and she knocked something off the table because she had a lot of clutter and toys on the desk with her.  She, of course, lost her temper with herself and started yelling and shouting as she does.  I tried to help her by clearing away some of her stuff and de-cluttering the desk so that she had room to type and play on the computer, she began to yell at me and she turned around and hit me.  Despite her age she has some force behind her and she meant it.  It didn't hurt, hurt but I felt it.  I am ashamed to say that I slapped her back.  Not hard of course, and not a full on palm of the hand on her cheek kind of thing, merely a tap with the finger tips.  It stopped her temper tantrum and after a 20 minute sulk in her bedroom she has been right as rain with me ever since. 

 

I don't for one moment condone what I did. 

 

I have not told Sir about it.   I feel a guilty as hell.  But I keep putting off telling him.  I don't know whether to tell him or not.  I have no idea what his reaction will be.

 

I'm back

Hi everyone,

 

This is just a really quick post to say hello and that I am still alive and to check and make sure you guys are all still here alive and kicking and posting - glad to see you all.

 

Well, we have finally managed our big move.  The house is wonderful and the place we live is just lovely.  And even though I am by no way a city girl, I love the city.  This whole place is why i moved to NZ in the first place.  The buildings are so historic, the people a friendly and the weather, well a little chilly - somewhat windy but on the whole, great. 

 

The school holidays are now over and today is the first day of the rest of my life - hopefully.

 

The kids are at their relative schools.  Sir is working, albeit its a bit hit and miss, some days working some days not, lets hope it more of the some days working.  He got the first thing that was offered so now its just a matter of time to find something more permanent.

 

So today is my first day in the house by myself being the housewife and mum and I have always wanted to be.

 

I have the radio on, cats for company, and am just going room to room tidying and cleaning :)  I'm pretty much in heaven.

 

DD has been a little hit and miss but slowly getting back on track.  In fact I got three spankings yesterday - ouch.  It is so surprising how much they can hurt when they have been a bit hit and miss.  And of course with the inconsistency I have become a bit of a brat, disobedient, disrespectful, I have been trying to wear the boss hat and Sir firmly took it off me last night.  The first one was more playful and led to much nicer things, the second one was awful.  I had been a horrible brat when we went to the shops and so he decided not to wait for Sunday night "just because" session - its back to immediate consequences.  I was walloped hard and he had me kinda pinned down on the bed so that I could not for the life of me wriggle out of reach.  Owwwww!!.  that was followed by 20 minutes of corner time.  OMG 20 minutes of standing there, in the corner its the longest he has ever given me and it was horrible.  I hated every second of it.  Then of course there was Sunday night's just because" session.  That was hard but deserved and needed.  He used the step stool for me to bend over and afterwards he made me stay there in place while he went for a shower.  Then I was allowed in to bed.  I gotta say, my bottom is slightly sore today but emotionally I feel calm, respectful and eager to please :) I just love that feeling.

 

Anyway, like I said, first day of the rest of my life.  Catch you all later :) its good to be back.