Feeling It.

Today I’m feeling both the physical side and emotional side of TTWD. 

And it’ wonderful. 

I feel like I’m walking on clouds and wrapped in cotton wool.  (Could do with sitting on cotton wool right now though) Loved and protected.  I feel at peace and contented and connected with my husband.

Yesterday I got into trouble.  Not HUGE trouble, but big enough (and it could have been worse) but I confessed rather than got caught out.  I think Sir realized my intentions were good with what I did rather than just being devilish (which when I have done this thing before (yes ssshhh I know, it’s bad that I keep repeating the same offence) then the intentions were pretty devilish).

I confessed in the afternoon and acknowledged that I was in trouble.   The day passed and I got home and got on with the usual family routine.

Anyway, you know about my new bedtime – 10.30pm sharp.   Well, it got to about 9.30pm and Sir asked me “is there anything I need to spank you for today”

My stomach was in knots as it was but I looked down at the ground and said “Yes sir, there is”

He nodded and said “right, upstairs, you may as well start getting ready for bed”.

(Sweetgirl, you will be so proud of me) I got myself upstairs without a mutter or fuss or argument.  I got myself ready, brushed my teeth, undressed, got the pillows out ready on the bed and got my “punishment book” out for him to read.  And then I lay in position and waited for him.

Up he came.  He gave me the book and told me I had to read out loud what I had done today to deserve a spanking.   

So there I was laying naked over the pillows and having to read out what I had done.  That in itself was very humbling.   There were three things:

• I took the phone off the hook so that Thorn couldn’t ring (This was my main crime)
• I got out of bed the night before and sat on the stairs and eves-dropped on a phone call he had, when I should have been sleeping.
• I didn’t have my daily glass of milk

  

Then he started.  He used the shortened cane we have, and our green tail implement. 

I stayed in position.

I clung on to the duvet and tried my best to take what I had coming.  And I did, I took it.  Not without tears.  He lectured me throughout and made me answer him.  I don’t know if HOH realize how hard it is to answer questions during a spanking.  But boy it is hard. 

I am thankful that he didn’t use the dreaded “white tail” implement he made.  It is vicious.  He could have used it, probably should have used it because this is not the first time I’ve committed this offence.  But he didn’t use it, even though he threatened.  I am thankful for that.

Anyway, when he was finished he pulled back the covers on the bed and told me to hop in to bed.

I mentioned that I still had 20 minutes to go until my bedtime.

He shook his head and said no, as I hadn’t stayed in bed the previous night then I could go to bed early.

He kissed me goodnight and left the room.

I figured I wouldn’t sleep.  10.30 is early enough as it is, nevermind just after 10pm.  So I lay there (oh hell yes, on my tummy) listening to him downstairs thinking I’m not going to go to sleep.

The next thing I know the alarm clock has woken me up, the sun is streaming through the curtains.

I turn over and see his smiling face.  He asks me if I am OK.  I asked him why he didn’t wake me up when he came to bed and he said I was sleeping so soundly he didn’t want to wake me.

I am so feeling TTWD today.   Well all week since this new bedtime rule to be honest.  It really works for me.

It’s amazing what a sound thrashing and being sent to bed early can do for a girl.

Epidemic

I have been reading a few posts over the last couple of days and there seems to be an epidemic going around our HOHs.  It's very infectious from what I can see.

The symptoms to watch out for:

Perhaps a bit of a snuffly nose..

Maybe even a wheezy cough..

Most certainly a pointed finger towards the stairs..

Quite possibly the raised eyebrow and stern face..

And in some worse cases a high temperature.

And in every case the stern words "It's your bedtime, young lady!!"

An epidemic of bedtime rules. 

It's pretty serious for us poor wives too.  The symptoms develop in our HOH's and then spread to us...

"sulky attitude"

"denial"

"crying"

 and the inevitable

"red and sore bottom"

(believe it or not I couldnt find a decent picture of a red sore bottom that I had in mind - so I will leave that picture to your imaginations) 

Hands up anyone else who has caught this bedtime rule epidemic ....seems to be quiet a few of us now.

Does anyone know of a cure? 

But then, do I really want a cure?  The mere fact that he has set me a bed time and ensures I stick to it, wow I didn’t know I could feel like this.  That warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach, loved and cared for, protected, my heart melts.  I'd do anything for Sir when I feel like this.  It's like I’ve turned a corner in my submissiveness.

Spanked, sent to bed…then spanked again

Times are a changing in my household.

Night shift starts in a week’s time and all of a sudden my HOH is showing me He IS and ALWAYS WILL BE the boss.

We had maintenance last night.  Sunday night is our night.  Sir had decided that as his night shifts were starting in a week, that he should maybe start to acclimatize his body and start going to bed a little later.  He said that I had to go to bed at what is our usual time but that he would stay up.  I whined and moaned about it (not a sensible thing to do on maintenance night) But to no avail.  Come 10.30pm he pointed his finger to the stairs.

“Up you go” he said.  I groaned and got a swat for my trouble.  And he soon followed and I was soon bent over the bed

We had a few little issues to deal with that had occurred during the week that he hadn’t “dealt” with there and then; nothing too major as I had been pretty much a good girl, except one little incident.  I had a slight rebellion during the week and broke a rule that I am not allowed energy drinks, one in particular as it’s pretty bad for the body, but boy does it taste nice.  Anyway, yeah I bought one and then when asked about it I had lied.   So yes, I guess I deserved the spanking that I got for that.

Anyway, Sir proceeded to remind me that no matter what hours he works, he is and always will be the boss and I am to heed him.  I know the rules, I know how to handle myself and to make sure I do just that.  He reminded me that he will be reading my book each morning he comes home and HE WILL deal with anything he feels he needs to on a morning before I come to work.  “Send you to work with a sore bum” where his words.

We finished up.  Boy oh boy he has the patience of a saint my man does.  I jump around like something not quite right, like jumping beans.  I cannot manage to stay in position.  And when I say I don’t stay in position, honesty,

I jump up and hop around the room like a kangaroo on speed.  How can I learn to stay in position?  That’s for another post I guess.  Anyway, I had three more to take he said so just stay put and take them.  I did manage that.  Owww.  Three bloody hard ones.

And then the bomb shell.

I got sent to bed.

I couldn’t quite believe it.

He wouldn’t budge when I tried to argue.  No he said, I need my sleep he said.  He kissed me and snuggled me into bed still sniffling and bottom smarting soundly.

I tried to be a good girl and I did try to go to sleep.

To no avail.

2 hours later I got back up again.  I plodded my way downstairs but as soon as I opened the door I got an angry barrage from Sir telling me to heed him, go back to bed, I need to sleep.  I tried to tell him that it was pointless, I just couldn’t sleep.  He lectured that I would have to get used to it, that I can’s stay up all night just because he is not going to be around.  I tried to explain that it’s going to take a little while for me to get used to it.

With a huge sigh and an ominously sounding “Right!” he got up, switched off the TV and the lights,  marched me back upstairs, bent me over the bed, soundly paddled me again for disobeying him, declared that from now on I am going to have a bed time of  no later than 10.30 and obey or else.  He sent me back to bed, got in himself and went to sleep.  Leaving me laying there, on my tummy with no covers on because my behind was rather too hot and sore…trying my best to go to sleep.

I have unleashed a monster.

Urggghhhh 10.30 bedtime.  It would be fine if he were with me …I am going to have so much trouble trying to stick to this, because for the first few weeks there is no way I’m going to be able to sleep that early without him in bed next to me.  I guess I am just going to be in so much trouble FULL STOP!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

I just want to wish all my friends who celebrate Thanksgiving, a very Happy Thanksgiving.

We dont celebrate it here in NZ but I have lots to be thankful for, my health, my happiness, my children and family and last but not in any way least, each and everyone of my bloggy friends.

I wish you all a very merry Thanksgiving and hope you all have lots to be thankful for.

I'm still around and still reading, but I have been extremely busy, hopefully next week I can start to blog a bit more.

I

Second Thoughts

I am having second thoughts about living in a DD relationship.  If it means me changing into someone that I am not, then I don't want it anymore.

There, I said it.

That was surprising hard to admit to myself.

Last night thorn rang to speak to Little Miss and as usual to Sir too. 

Thursday night is his bath night.  He relaxes back for an hour or two with a book, a beer and a smoke and enjoys some quiet peaceful time to himself.

She had rung and spoke to Little Miss.  Sir had instructed me to pick up the second phone and to listen to what she was saying.  So I did as I was told (yes OK gleefully, Ill admit it).

That was when Thorn said to Little Miss she wanted to talk to daddy.

Little Miss told her he was in the bath and so she said she would ring back.

She did.

I answered the phone this time.  I wish I hadn’t.

I told her he was still in the bath.

She TOLD  me to "just take the phone to him then".

Now this is where it gets tricky for me.  Hard to swallow, because I did.  I meekly took the phone to him.

2 years ago, before we started this, I would have told her where to get off, that she would have to wait for him to finish, and to try back in half an hour and hung the phone up.

But no, I took the phone to him.

I will defer to my husband every single time.

But I will not defer to anyone else in my house, absolutely no one.

I was so angry at myself.  At her.  At Sir.

Where has my backbone gone.  I acted like I was a doormat – her doormat.

I know Sir would preferred me to have handed the phone to him.  So in that respect I did defer to him.  But normally I would have just said to phone back as he was in the bath.  Why didn’t I do that.  I want to kick myself. 

So on the one hand I submitted to my husband but it feels like I lost a part of me in doing it.  Which is not what this is meant to be about.

It makes me feel like I am changing.  And not for the better, not for the right reasons.    I will change for Sir but not for anyone else.    

BUT

If DD means me being submissive to Thorn (oh that was so hard to write) then I quit, I give up DD.  I will gladly go back to our previous relationship, no more submitting to anyone, because its making me the person I don't want to be.  I am not a doormat, I will not submit to a person like HER.  Not ever.  And standing up for myself does not mean I'm not submissive to Sir.  Does it?

Night shift - update

This is just a really quick post to let you know we find out tomorrow whether

Sir starts the night shift position.

If so, he will be starting on Monday next I would think.  Its  good thing and a bad thing at the same time.

So I will keep you updated as to how we get on.

What's the betting that maintenance the Sunday night before will be a bit of a big session.  Probably for the best.

Wow, this has got to be my shortest post yet.  The picture has nothing to do with the post but Ive always loved it, so I thought I would use it.  Feels like it's "us". 

See ya later,

Love and hugs kiwi xxx

Stirring = T.R.O.U.B.L.E.

Sometimes, I stir trouble.  I mean, I'm not a stirrer by nature, and it's not malicious - just wanting to be a little bit naughty perhaps a little annoying, just stir a little.  Just a little mischievous witch,

Hah!

No such luck.  No, when I stir trouble, even with the least malicious intentions possible, it stirs trouble for me. Big time.

I got into serious trouble last night with a massive capital T emblazoned in fiery flames from hell .

It's my own fault.

I know I deserved every single stroke - probably worse than he gave me actually.

I was playing stupid games and left the phone off the hook so that Thorn couldn't ring.  I didn’t think it through.  What I didn't think about was if the school needed to ring during the day.

Yup.

The school tried to ring Sir yesterday.

So hence the big lecture and telling off and massive drawn out spanking last night with a lot of implements.

(to mention just one that was used) - the very same one from caneiac)

I don't know what is wrong with me.  Thorn just gets to me and sometimes my blinkers come down and I can’t see or think straight.  I just want to lash out because she has been lashing out at me (in a very childish immature way so I should just let it go) and I'm not allowed to retaliate - we have to keep the waters calm and it irks me so.

But Sir is Sir and his decision has been made and he won’t budge.

So sometimes, just sometimes I take matters into my own hands.

But then I end up in massive trouble.  And to make it worse, my actions didn't even effect Thorn.  She still managed to ring.  And its not that I mind her talking to Little Miss, of course I don't.  (Most of the time the Little Miss doesn't want to talk to her anyway) its that she always, always, always wants to talk to Sir and she draws the conversation out and its like she has in her mind that they are still together, its that kind of conversation she tries to have with him.  And I know Sir doesn't encourage the conversation, I hear him, he tries his hardest to get off the phone, without being overly nasty (whereas if it were up to me, Id be hanging up the phone or telling her I really didn’t care).  She can't just talk to Little Miss and leave me and Sir alone.

So it’s not that I am jealous.  After all what have I got to be envious about.  I have Sir, she doesn’t.  I think I just get insanely insecure at times.  And it gets the better of me.  Sometimes I can manage to reign it in, but then at other times it can spill over and I react.  But when I react you can lay an even bet it will "literally" bite me on the ass.  Like last night.  I really dislike insecurity.  It can drive me to insanity sometimes.

Sigh.

GROUNDED!

No, not me....never (I'm always too good - haha seriously though,  I say this  very quietly not wanting to tempt fate     It hasn't occured to Sir to ground me for anythying yet.

This is a very short post today, but I have another couple coming.  (I can hear the groans already) LOL

I heard something very funny on the radio this morning.

And it made me wonder just how big our secret society is, just how many secret members are actually in it.

 

It was a segment on the morning show that I listen to on my way to work.

And the presenter wanted callers to ring in if they had been grounded and tell their stories.  Obviously aimed at teenagers ... or so I thought.

The first was a lady in her 50's who had been grounded by her husband because she had gone out for a night out with her friends and gotten too drunk and had to be carried home by him.

The second was another married lady who had gone birthday present shopping and overspent and so her husband had taken her credit cards off her, her cash cards and she was not allowed to go shopping for a month - even to the point where he was putting the gas into her car for her.

WOW.  Isn’t it funny how since starting this journey, how I look out for that kind of thing now, anything that 2 years ago I might have thought sounded bully-ish now sounds DD’ish.

I don't know if these ladies realise it but sounds to me like they are living in a DD relationship.  There may or may not be spanking involved we don't know.  And will never know.  It’s not something they would openly say on the radio I am sure, but their husbands were definitely HOHs, making rules and setting consequences.

Just how many more couples are out there, part of our secret society, living a DD marriage and maybe not even realizing it themselves.  Gotta make ya wonder huh?