Update

Well, they are here.

My house guests arrived and are still here. 5 weeks to go and they will move again.

My house guests are my parents and as much as I love them, they are hard work. Demanding my attention, and disapproving of my decision to move.

They are not seeing eye to eye with Sir either – which puts me piggy in the middle some what. And of course the more stress I feel, the less submissive I feel. There has been little to no attitude adjustment/maintenance sessions as such because of the lack of privacy.






On saying that though, I have been punished for some things. Over the last 12 days I’ve probably been spanked about 8 days. Sir found that the cane is a very quiet implement and he is quite handy at putting me across his knee at bedtime for a good few whacks with it. (By the way,  corner time works well for the stess levels but thats our secret).

Sir accuses me of having an audience and playing to that audience feeling safe and secure that I can act and speak however I want because they are here. It could be true but ssshhh I didn’t say that out loud. Also our big move is slowly coming together.

My son has decided to come with me so as you can imagine I am over the moon and it’s such a relief and pressure off the shoulders with that issue. (I love this picture.  It is exactly how I feel about my son's decision)

But there are still stresses and pressure. And I am feeling them big time. My head is in a mess.
I'm beign really bitchy
I have such a bad attitude
Talking back
Being argumentative and so disrespectiful.
But I am hopeful that things are working out slowly but surely. I just hate feeling this stress and being so … bitchy with it…

And most of all…I hate that Sir isn’t putting a stop to it yet.  But hopefully he will soon.

A test of submission

We choose this lifestyle and we put all our faith in our HOH. Faith to lead us and make the right decisions for our family. We trust in our HOH’s to chose the right path, make the right decisions, to not put a foot wrong and in return we give our submission to them, we promise to obey and submit to their judgement and decisions. Usually, for me, this is quite easy. Everyday stuff is easy to follow and submit to. It’s the big life decisions that are hard. And right now, we are facing a big life changing decision. To move or not to move, that is the question. It is something we both want and have talked about it for last year. Suddenly it’s here. The time to move house, a big move, not just to another house but to another region. If we was in the US We would be moving states. But things are not going smoothly. And I am a big believer in signs. It’s been a struggle to get finances together. The place where Sir wants to work is now laying off and not taking on. The house we are trying to rent is now not available. The town we wanted to live in only has that one house to rent – and now it’s gone. And the big ? for me is my son and whether he will come with me or stay with his father. All of that is telling me something. Now, if I were being a true submissive, I would trust sir. He tells me not to worry, he will work elsewhere until the place he really wants to work starts hiring again. He tells me not to worry about a house, yes the place is ideal for us, but we will find somewhere else. He assures me we have plenty of spare cash to cover the move and cover expenses until he finds work; and my son, well, if he doesn’t come then I am not abandoning him, but giving him a second option of a better place if he decides later on. If I were a good submissive wife I would follow him. We have talked and discussed and he has heard my concerns. But he has made up his mind. We are going and that’s that. I need to be able to trust his judgment. Accept his decision and move. Do I trust the signs and believe my gut feeling. Or is my gut feeling confused with fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of losing my son. Do I trust my HOH. The times my son shows a keenness to come with us, then I’m all for it. And that tells me something as well. So I think it’s the latter. I’m just scared and I need to get over that and put my trust in my HOH. Before now, it’s been easy. Just little things, follow his set rules, it’s been plain sailing. But this is a big decision. This is real, this is real life I guess. This is a test. A true test of my faith and love and trust and my submission … and it’s not easy.

Simply, for Bas.

Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day,
unseen, unheard but always near, still loved, still missed and very dear