A Thorn in my side.

Friday 21st October 2011

I am so tired.  I have a very sharp thorn in my side that sticks in to me every few days.  I am tired of this thorn.  But it seems ever lasting, it seems to never go away, the thing is it doesn’t want to go away, it’s got nothing to go away to and that’s the problem.

But it’s spoiling my little piece of paradise that I have finally found.  My peace and my happiness and sanity, my love, my heart, my life and soul, it’s threatening to ruin completely. 

It’s a nasty sharp thorn, long and pointed and malicious with a venomous tip.  Not a poison that kills outright but one that draws on you, slowly sapping away at your energy, pricks you and lets the blood slowly trickle away.  A claw that keeps pricking and poking every step and turn I take.  It threatens, it demands, it draws blood occasionally.   Its poison is slowly leaching in to my cozy little world and I hate it.  I detest it.  But I’m defenseless to it.  There is nothing I can do about this horrible black sharp toxic little thorn.  I want to burn it, I want to dig it out, I want to trash it but every move I make is thwarted.  A thorn that thinks it’s very clever and very sneaky and very devious. 

A thorn that I don’t know quite how to battle – yet.   I am meant to be quiet, to be still, not to make waves.  I don’t know how to fight deviously and sneakily.   I don’t want to lose this fight, and I wont lose this fight, if it’s the last thing I do this thorn will be pulled from its roots, torn up and burnt to be gone forever.  But in the meantime, my blood is slowly trickling away.