Rules.

Rules, I have rules and I want to celebrate.

This is so good.

We talked properly last night.  Finally.  I don’t know what I have been so worried about.  I have wasted all this time and he just sat and talked to me normally.  He isn’t put off by it all; he isn’t overwhelmed by it all.  He is more than OK with being my HOH and in charge of me.  I feel so much more relaxed and confident now.

He admitted he didn’t really have any rules that he had thought about because he is not used to this and asked what did I want to have rules about.  So we talked about my ideas and he thought they were really good rules that he wanted to enforce.  So here they are:

• Dishonesty – I’m not a dishonest person but I have a tendency to not tell the full truth, or just not tell him something he really should know about. 

• Disrespect – no harsh words in an argument, no sarcasm or “whatever's” or throwing things or swearing etc, and never undermine his authority with the kids in front of the kids. 

• NO temper tantrums or sulky moody behaviour – like getting out of bed in the middle of the night when something is upsetting me, tantrums demanding back cash cards and the like, or being sulky when he comes home late.

• NO using the credit card without permission.

• Exercise – I must do my step 3 times a week unless there is a valid reason for me not doing it – sickness or injury.  I guess I will discover what I hate most – exercise or the cane!

• Grocery Budget dont go over it. 

In turn I explained to him exactly what I need from him which is this:

Consistency – punish me there and then if possible or that same day or as soon as practicable when I have broken a rule.    

Tell me off properly before and during the punishment

If he threatens that I am going to get a spanking, then follow through, make sure I do get that spanking.

When out in public don’t be afraid to issue a warning to behave or else.

Enforce the rules – be strict with me.  If I break a rule, punish me for it.

Don’t let me talk my way out of a punishment or refuse one.  Use force if he needs to, force me into position, force me to stay in position.  My goal is to submit fully and place myself in position and to stay in position.  A work in progress.  Sometimes I have managed it, other times I struggle with it.

Add to the rules anytime that he wants to. 

I know we will have ups and down.  I know he will forget at times, and I know that I am going to have to remind him and asked to be punished.  I have done it before and it was hard, a struggle and I thought it defeated the object, but it really doesn’t.  He is forgetful and he has asked me to help him by reminding him if I have broken a rule – he will know that – but he will forget to punish me for it.  So, I will have to remind him.  This is where the rule of honesty comes in doesn’t it? 

But I know I can now talk to him openly about it.  Talking is getting easier and easier.  And that is such a great thing.  There is nothing left to hide.  He knows it all now, I don’t need to be embarrassed anymore, it hasn’t phased him, he isn’t overwhelmed with it all and it hasn’t put him off me – he still loves me,  so talking really shouldn’t be an issue for me anymore.

I love this level of intimacy we have now.  This is “us”,  me and him, it’s what we do for us for our relationship and I wouldn’t have it any other way.