To our HOHs

A comment received on my last post has me thinking. 

I bought a wooden hairbrush, for one purpose only if I am really truly honest – my favorite words in the whole world “young lady you are going over my knee” and that’s why I bought the wooden hairbrush. 

I may well be brave; I may well be dedicated but is my HOH so dedicated?  I am no long so sure, despite what I thought were good conversations and discussions about it.

A week ago I committed a cardinal sin that I blogged about.  A week ago I was told to expect to be saying a lot of Hail Mary’s, not to expect leniency and no way in hell was he going to forget about it.  A week ago!  And in that time I have received nothing; zilch, nada. 

On Friday last week I did receive a little spanking, but just for play.  He mentioned afterward that it was my punishment for the book and the credit card.  But it didn’t feel like punishment, it wasn’t all that painful, there were no tears, and there was no lecture or telling off but lots of sex afterwards.  It was play.  It was great, but it was play.  

I tried to explain to him that it feels like he waits too long between me doing something wrong and being punished for it, that the lesson is then lost.   He acknowledged that, which I appreciated.  He said that he has a memory like an elephant and he never forgets and so things may accumulate but he will punish me when we next can.   (Of course I understand privacy is an issue when we have kids) but there are ways and means.     He has described in detail how he will punish me (and I admit, I’m not looking forward to it it is not going to be pleasant and probably one of the worst punishments I have received so far) – but the question is will it actually happen, probably not.  Am I nervous like I have been before knowing there is a punishment coming, no not really, are there butterflies in my stomache, nope none whatsoever, do I feel guilty and feel the need to be forgiven, no not in the slightest anymore.  It's over and done with, its gone, Ill probably commit the same sin again in the very near future because it obviously dosent bother him, he obviously doesnt care enough.  And having to ask to be  punished just so completely defeats the object.  So here is my little ode to all HOHs out there.

To all our HOHs out there

We love you so dearly. 

We struggle to bear our souls to you about our needs and desires in this thing we do,

But when we finally do it is with all our love and complete and utter trust and faith in you.

Please, are you listening to us? 

Really listening, with open hearts and minds, 

We need rules, we need consistency and we need follow through, always. 

And if for some reason follow through can't happen then we need to know why.  

We have given you this power, if only you knew just how much,

Please use it wisely

Use it kindly

Use it consistently.