Oh my Lord, I think I might be in some serious trouble very shortly. I think after the weekend I may not be sitting too comfortably for a long time.
Do you remember I blogged about ordering a wooden paddle from Cane_iac??? And the receipt went to his email by mistake arrgghh - he said he was going to punish me with it for ordering it - well we got an email to say its on its way.
What I didn't confess to as I just didn't have the nerve, at the same time I ordered the paddle, I ordered another book (in my defense the last book I ordered on Domestic Discipline was really not what I was looking for) so anyway, I ordered another book called Domestic Discipline and I think this one will fit the bill - is that a good defense? I think so. But probably not.
Arrrgghh, I received notification today that it is being shipped today and will arrive at destination tomorrow.
Plus, I still haven't been punished for my rule breaking over the weekend AND its grocery shopping tonight and I have a budget rule which I can never stick to because I think its unreasonable AND I haven't even done any exercise which is a rule - 3 times a week - and now its Wednesday - and I have until Saturday to get 3 lots of exercise in.
And then this morning, he discovered I had stashed some cash away at work for lunch instead of making my own. The muscles in his jaw were twitching he was that mad. He keeps tight control of the finances you see and well, although its not a written rule as such its an understanding we have. He gave me that look over his glasses, the raised eyebrow and then the muscles started twitching.
I think we have a weekend on our own this coming weekend and I think I may be in for some serious punishment.
Those Hail Mary's he promised I would be saying not so long ago, I'm saying them now :( the butterflies have started in my stomach already.
This all looks like Ive done this deliberately but I honestly haven't. This is just fate conspiring against me.
Do you think if I run away it will save me??????????????
Fate? I don't think that excuse will work. Running away usually means coming back at some point, so again, maybe not the right approach. I think you might be in for it, girl! A Hail Mary or two might not hurt!
ReplyDeleteThis never worked on sitcoms...but I suppose you could try putting a book in your pants (maybe even said book) :-)
ReplyDeleteAs they say, I think you've written a check that your bottom won't be able to cash.
Yikes!
Meow, you are so right,
ReplyDeleteBaby-Girl - oh i like your sense of humour hehehe
But I do intend to defend myself - I am going to point out that this is what happens punishment for one thing is late in coming - i spiral out of control so its better to punish straight away ....dont think its going to work...but i can try. Wish me luck...
Wow!! I think that I will keep you in my prayers for a quick recovery for your bottom and "true" penance.
ReplyDeleteBob.
HI senorrose4 - thank you for your kind words and prayers. It feels surreal at the moment, because I know and he doesnt. I keep asking myself should I confess or just let it go until tomorrow - Ill probably let it go until tomorrow - im a chicken I know I have to sneak the credit card back into place (oops I forgot its still "missing in action" in my purse.
ReplyDeleteOh lordy im not looking forward to the weekend.
confess! ! ! I get a little mercy if I tell him before he finds out.
ReplyDeleteHello Kiwi,
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't run, When a sub does that he or she always runs the risk that the boss will decide they're better off that way and not let you come back. I read through your blog just quickly, and I think maybe a mentor for your husband might be helpful. Someone that can guide him along as to when mercy is useful and when it's not. If you know someone that could fill that role I think it would really help.
I had a question about the style of your relationship if you are willing to answer. Your attitude seems contradictory to your desires. FOr example, how is it that you ask for rules, he makes them apparently, and then you "Can't" stick to a budget rule because you think it's unreasonable? Where are you justifying the authority to pass judgement on the reasonableness of his rules and then deciding whether or not to obey them based on those judgements?
Please do hear that in the context that I really am not trying to attack you, I'm just trying to understand you. Good luck!
Hi Little Missie - i am contemplating it but im too scared ....seriously. It will turn up tomorrow anyway. Oh maybe I will tonight in bed in the dark where i cant see his face and disappointment in me :( submission sucks sometimes.
ReplyDeleteHi MagnusCattus - no I wont run - just instinct at the moment fight of flight, becuase I know im "in for it" at the weekend. I wont be doing either, I will be submitting, completely. Yes, a mentor may well be good for him, him being so new to the idea of spanking let alone discipline. But he is getting the hang of it. As for my relationship, I do hear what you are asking, and thank you for asking. I dont mean to be contractictory and I am not deciding whether or not to obey. This particular rule is really difficult to stick to. He set a limit for my budget which I do think is unreasonably low for our family and all its pets. I find it very difficult to shop within this budget as every week the cost of groceries and petrol increases whereas our wages stay the same. I have talked to him about it, and he did increase it today for me by $50 - not a lot but something. Its not that I dont want to stick to the budget, I really truly do. Its just practically impossible.
Perhaps he has ulteria motives?
Haha! I wouldn't run away for the world. If it were me, I'd do my best to keepmy feet planted. Jake still reminds me of all the mixed signals I used to send.
ReplyDeletekiwigirl,
ReplyDeleteI'm going to say this and it's nothing against you because you're one of my blogging friends, but I am of the opinion that you SHOULD NOT EVER keep secrets from your Dom/HoH/Master/Husband! Please confess all and try to be forthcoming about everything in the future:)!
Kitty
P.S. Good luck!
Hi Emily, yes very good point. there is no way i would run - just a fight or flight instinct for a second or two. Ill submit and accept whatever he decides. Its a good point about mixed signals. I dont want him to think i have done this deliverately,i really haven't.
ReplyDeleteHi Kitty, I know I know *hanging my head*. I have confessed about stuff in the past. I probably will tonight, guilty conscience and all :( its coming tomorrow anyway, im "in for it" anyway, I may as well tell him tonight about it. Oh God. This sounds funny, but in one respect I hope he punishes me for it tonight - he wont i know this - but i hope he does.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kitty :) xxx
I have a couple of questions for you, too.
ReplyDeleteWhat did you think you would get from the book that you weren't learning from practicing domestic discipline yourself?
And, all of these things seem to relate to money, in one way or another. You spent or took money for the paddle, the book and your lunches without approval. You want to spend more on groceries than is in your budget. This is giving you some payoff, and it makes me wonder if there are other ways for you to get that payoff.
On the practical side, you may want to renegotiate your grocery budget. If it's really unfair, then you likely have the evidence on the receipt. If you go through the items you've bought in the last few trips, what are the things that you could save money on and would you really be sacrificing quality or nutrition if you cut back on them? In some sense I think there's an objective truth there, and he sounds like he is rational enough to discuss it on that basis.
Well yikes-a-doodle..that's a lot. I never have stuff pile up because he never let's anything go. Wish you the best.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you really CAN stick to the budget and then when he asks for certain things just tell him that you had to eliminate some things this week..etc.
I understand though..I really can't stick to my computer limits! I mean, I can but I can't!
Ugh, I'd be a complete mess waiting and overthinking every detail. I'd probably exercise 6 times to try to cancel out some of the others.
ReplyDeleteBut, around here, confessing all always works out better than waiting.
I understand the limit issue, although I don't have money limits. Hope your shopping trip goes okay. It's a terribly cheeky thought, but if I had a grocery budget that wasn't ever enough, I think maybe I just wouldn't buy any meat one week. My husband would change his mind awfully quickly after a day or two of all veggies for dinner. Yeah...I know that's really manipulative...
yikes....that's all I have to say....
ReplyDeleteYikes! Still liking those rules, huh? :P (Sorry, had to say it!). Yeah, major punishments are hard. I got one yesterday (sitting on a pillow right now, LOL). I felt sick to my stomach all yesterday evening just having to wait for it. But you WILL get through it. I think the waiting and not knowing is the most tortuous part. And afterward, everything will be better, I promise!
ReplyDeleteAbout the budget though--can you convince him to show you how it's done (with you along to observe)? Either you'll learn something, or maybe he'll learn it's impossible, and needs to be renegotiated. Just a thought.
Sending happy vibes and hugs!
Kay :)
All I can say is...hope it goes well for you and start couponing! Seriously...some practical advice for the grocery budget is moneysavingmom.com - read that site and it will inspire you to do better with money. There is six in our family and I feed us for 50 dollars a week and it is mostly all whole foods - I'm a healthy nut! And then...do what Stormy does...tell him it's not in the budget!
ReplyDeleteRP: I ordered the book a few weeks ago - before we really started DD in full and really talking about it. I struggle talking about it and I really thought it would help. Yes, money is an issue for me, i find it hard to manage it. I need help and thats why its a rule. And I swear Ive not used the credit card since it became a written rule. Just all bad timing :( The grocery budget is really difficult and i think it needs renegotiating.
ReplyDeleteSTORMY: Thank you :) No, he didnt "let it go" either last night :( damn budget!
SUSIE: He didnt make me wait. For the first time since we started DD he punished me straight away for breaking a rule - and what a difference it makes. And i may just take you up on that idea hehe.
K's SWEETIE: Thank you ---- all i can is owwwwww! :(
KAY: Surprisingly, yes I do still love the rules. For the first time since we started this DD he punished me for a broken rule straight away - and as always it was severe - i caught a glimpse of him out of teh corner of my eye and he was swinging that cane with great gusto and from a great height (he actually broke the tip of it off)! I know I deserved it too. Though I did try. I told him last night that I dont ever want to go shopping again.
ASHLEY: Im in NZ so not a lot of coupons available. But i will check out the website - out of curiosity - may give me some ideas...thank you :)
Im still in trouble. I just couldnt confess about the book last night. I told him this morning :( and he found the grocery receipt which didnt quite match the actual figure I told him last night either :( OH GOD!!! He said, well, nevermind what he said, I'm just still in big trouble. But then I swear Im going to be good, the eptimoe of virtuosity.
Hi, Kiwi! Working my way backwards! Ideas for feeding a family on the cheap is readily available on the net... I make Shepherds Pie, adding baked beans, peas, sweetcorn, onion, mushrooms, and chopped carrots to the meat...that way, I can make a large shepherds pie that has at least 10 huge servings!
ReplyDeleteYou obviously have land, to own all those animals...have you thought of growing your own vegetables? That can really make a difference.
Maybe speak to a local restaurant about them saving their food scraps for your pigs? If they won't give them to you, you could offer to buy them at a smaller cost than you currently spend on their food? Just ideas... good luck! xxxxxx
Hi Daisychain, thank you for commenting. Thanks for the ideas. Yeah we do the pig thing getting scraps from anywhere and everywhere. We have only just moved into this new place and its the middle of winter but we will be digging a vegge patch soon :) thats for sure.
ReplyDeletedont order books, get them on kindle. Do you have an iPhone or adroid phone? I buy them on the Kindle ap that I downloaded, it's great, he needn't know then!
ReplyDeleteHi Charlie1986 thank you for yuor comments and good idea :) i will have to give that a try. But one thing i have found - he always finds out eventually - its like he has eyes in teh back of his head or ESP or something LOL....
ReplyDelete