Conversation Rocks

Thank you to all my friends for their words of wisdom and advice on my previous post.   I had decided that I was going to slow down, take a breath and just leave things alone for a while, to see how things developed on their own.  Hubby had told me that he was more than OK with and willing to try this lifestyle out, so what more could I ask for.  Patience is a virtue, or so they say.

However, last night he decided he wanted to talk to me about it.  WOW!  He was in the bath, the kids asleep.  He called me in to sit with him for a while and chat.  And he brought up the subject.  He asked how he was doing with it, was he hurting me, was he verbalising enough during punishments, was I happy with how things were going.  Wow.  Here is my chance I thought.  So I took a deep breath and said that he was doing an wonderful job, but that I would prefer not to have to ask for a punishment if i had done something wrong and that's one of the reasons I thought maybe him setting me a few rules might help - so that we both knew what to expect from each other.  He said no to the rules.  He would just decide when I needed punishment.  He said I know what annoys him, what behaviour he doesn't like so I don't need rules, I already know them in my heart.  I didn't argue.  I asked maybe he could vary the severity of punishments and perhaps use other implements.  He just chuckled at me and said

"Oh, you don't like the cane do you"

"Err no dear it hurts like hell"

"That's the point of punishment  - it's supposed to hurt and be disliked"

Point taken!

He said he doest want me to email him anymore, he wants me just to talk to him.  Damn it!  I find it so hard to talk about this but I guess I am going to have to learn quick.

So we carried on and I told him I want to submit to him always but sometimes i may fight it and that he shouldn't let me.  I told him that when it comes to punishment I may try and refuse or talk my way out of it and he shouldn't allow it.  That if he thinks I deserve a punishment then regardless of what I say or do, he needs to carry the threat out.

He told me not to worry he has no intention of being talked out of or letting me refuse a punishment. 

We kind of let the conversation slide there.  But enough was said i think for now.  There are a few more things Id like to settle in my own mind with him but they can wait for now.

I really would prefer him to set me some rules.  But like he said - I probably already know what he expects of me if I listen to my heart.  But I will revisit this conversation with him about some rules over time.

I need to know that he is going to be consistent.  For example last week 's grocery shopping episode where I demanded back the cash cards and he handed them over as meek as a lamb.  All I really wanted him to do is to tell me to behave and calm down or else - and mean the threat!.  I did tell him this in my email on Friday night.  And he did punish me on Saturday for my temper tantrums.  So hopefully that one is sorted now.

I would also like to talk about other methods of punishment other than spanking.  He actually sent me to bed on Saturday night after spanking me.  He followed me to bed almost immediately but it still had an effect.  It was very humbling and seemed to finish off the discipline episode.  And I really think that a maintenance spanking each week would do me wonders.  One, it reminds me he is the boss, two it reconnects us, three, I admit it I like to be spanked (but not punished - there is a huge difference).  

He did tease me a little last night and said he didn't know whether he was up to spanking me every week, maybe every fortnight, he said it was too much exercise once a week, that it took more out of him physically than making love!  Humph!  My face must have been a picture, a struggle between arguing the point with him and trying to accept his decision.  He just laughed at me and said not to worry he was just teasing me!  Lucky he is bigger and stronger than me I might have tried to drown him there and then! 

I am one happy camper today, feeling the physical effects of her caning and spanking from Saturday night still, and feeling the emotional effects of her conversation with her wonderful, strong handsome loving caring HOH last night and looking forward even more to what is to come from this decision of ours.

So yeah, conversation rocks - I really should try it more often.