TTWD

What is it with this thing we do and submission and when we finally submit?  I can no longer tell little white lies to my hubby.  Or if I do tell one, it doesn't sit well with me and I have to confess.  Its like a switch has been turned on, something inside me has lit up and i just have to be completely and utterly honest or I'm not submitting properly.

Let me explain.

A couple of weeks ago I ordered a book from Amazon in the hopes it would help me to talk more openly to him about domestic discipline.  I had thought the book was being delivered to my work address.  However, i must have made a mistake when i placed the order and it was delivered to my home address, yesterday.

I got home from work and I saw it on the table.  He was busy with something else so I put it away.  He asked me about 10 minutes later where the book was, and i said it was away.  He then said he had bone to pick with me about that, when did I order it, how did I manage to pay for it etc etc.  I crossed my fingers behind my back and smiled and batted my eyelashes and said I had ordered it months ago just after we moved into the new house, and i had forgotten about it.  But it wasn't want i was hoping it would be.  He seemed to buy it, and I hugged and kissed him and left it at that.

We went about our usual business and then later that night, laying in bed in the dark (and in the dark I can't see his face) my conscience got the better of me.

"Baby I have a confession to make"

"Oh yes, what is it"

"I kinda told a little lie earlier, that book, well I did order it about three weeks ago.  I snook the credit card out of your wallet"

"That's a bit devious isn't it?"

"Yes, I know, I'm sorry, really, but it was for the greater good.  I thought it would help me talk a bit more openly about this thing we do to you, but we seemed to have found our way anyway"

"Hmmm well you know what, you will be saying an awful lot of hail Marys later on wont you?"

"Oh man! Cant you be lenient with me, please, I did confess?"

"No way baby, the catholic church does not grant leniency.  Now go to sleep".

Oh boy oh boy.  I hate that cane!

So, he hasn't said when punishment will happen, but I'm pretty sure it will so I have it hanging over my head.  I hate that.  I'd rather just get it over with.  He might forget.  But I wont be able to.  But I don't want to have to ask.  Dilemma.

Oh and then I confessed to something else this morning - I bought a new hairbrush on eBay yesterday.  A nice round old fashioned wooden one! Bargain at $5.   How did I do that, he asked.  Internet banking silly!.  And his response? Well I got the impression he seems keen to use it.

And of course today is grocery shopping day :( man oh man.  For the last two weeks its been horrible.  However, this morning he gave the cash card and told me I had a budget.  Stick to it or else.  Oh OK, he is not coming with me.  Yeeehhhaaaa.  No Kiwi this is not an open invitation to spend like crazy in the food store.  And the look he gave me over his glasses told me exactly that.  So I meekly said I would try to do my best.  But no, he said there is no try about it, don't go over budget, end of story.  He obviously means business he wants to see the receipt and told me three times before I left for work.  Is it my fault we need what we need and the cost of groceries just seems to go up on a daily basis?

Wish me luck, I will try my best to stick to the budget.  But that horrible naughty girl  with horns and a tail and a pitchfork sitting on my shoulder keeps saying to me looks like I'm in trouble anyway -  may as well be hung for sheep as for lamb!  The good girl sitting on my other shoulder is just shaking her head!!