Oh Laid Back, Mellow Husband, where art Thou..?

Wednesday 15th February 2012

I say that but really deep down in my soul I don’t mean it.

It stems from a six of the best caning this morning, before work, that took my completely by surprise because of a simple little thing of wet towels left on the bed and a flippant wave of the hand and refusal to put them in the bathroom right there and then (I would have done it but just not quite then) a quick warning to do it or else and a too cheeky “ha! the kids are about so you won’t”….and I found myself bent forward over the edge of the bed and the bedroom door rapidly closed and 6 of the best with his bloody cane all in one swift movement – how do they do that?

When I first met my husband, I sensed his dominance but he didn’t show it.  He would tell me not to do something, for example the dishes before I left for work, but I would do them anyway.  He would maybe scowl at me, or shrug his shoulders but nothing else would be said.

My previous relationship was that vanilla it made vanilla look exciting.  I was left to my own devices, he didn’t care at all.  We pretty much lived separate lives, so long as I did everything, his washing, his cooking, his child care, kept his house clean and his bed made and didn’t complain when he socialized with his mates (which was all the time) then he was happy and didn’t really care what I did or didn’t do.  I got on with life, did what I needed to do, even down to my exercises 3 times a week (how good was I). But, it left me feeling empty like something was missing.   I’m a grown up, I can do what I need to do.  But my NEED is something different.

But, since meeting Sir.  Well, how things have changed.  I finally realized that I NEED the dominance.  It’s that that turns me on, not the pain of a spanking.  It’s the fact that Sir cares what I do or don’t do.  He is bothered by my actions and will take action himself.  It shows me he cares.  It makes me feel protected and secure and so loved and even respected.  Respected because he knows this is what I need and is willing to give it to me.  My respect of him is showing my submission and love and devotion.

I drove to work with a sting on my behind from the cane and I was smiling.  I felt respectful, I felt loved. I felt protected.  I think of Sir as I sit here typing this and I can almost see the emotions that surround us.  They are so strong they are almost tangible.  The respect; the protection; the love; the leadership and the submission.  I feel like I could lean on him and I would never fall over because he is there, standing steady next to me, holding me up, holding me accountable.

After he had finished with the cane this morning, he gently pushed me back on the bed and laid on top of me, he wiped away my tears and kissed me.  Still loving it, he asked me.  Yes I am and always will.  I love his dominance over me.  People might not understand that but I do so love it. 

He is steady.  He is solid , as solid as a rock.  I know I can lean on him and I will never fall over. 

He is MY rock.

There isn't really much of a point to this post, I just wanted to get my feelings down somewhere before they got muddled with the day.