Seeing right through me and lessons learned

Following on from yesterday’s post, I have time to reconsider my feelings, get over myself and to stop over analysing (thanks Sweetgirl).

Sir called in to see me at work on his way to HIS work.  We talked a little and I apologized for how I acted.  He told me there was no need to carry on like I did on Sunday night.  His last words to me were “Remember 10.30 not a minute later, and STAY in bed”

This was all I needed.

But to add to it, he rang me about 10.25pm to ask me what I was doing, and I could honestly say I was just headed up the stairs to bed so that I could ring him and say goodnight.

I am going to do my best for the rest of the week to just follow the rules.  How hard can it be?  They are easy enough.

I have been thinking about my behaviour on Sunday night.  Plainly and simply I was just being a brat.  I deliberately didn’t do what he asked of me and he saw right through me.  He saw my attempts to get his attention and rather than give me what I was angling for (yes a spanking – or at least some hint that he would stick to his guns) he gave me a real punishment which was not to give me what I was acting up for.  And I mean for goodness sake he had already spanked me and put me to bed!  What more did I need.

His words on the Monday morning were perhaps a little insensitive.  But I deserved them none the less.  He was extremely tired, and I was just a plain naughty girl. I picked the wrong moment to show my stupid insecurity with behaviour which shouldn’t have happened anyway.  Like picking daisy petals, will he step up, wont he step up.   

Sir has given me no cause to think that DD is going to stop just because he is working.  And I don’t know how many times he has said  just ask if I want a spanking. 

What do I do instead of asking?  I play up.  I leave damp towels on the bed deliberately.  And then wonder why I can’t stay in position when he does spank me for it.  It’s because I know deep down its not “real”.  I set it up.  Not everything, but yes, the damp towel 9/10 I set it up to get a reaction.

Which, is exactly what I was trying to do on Sunday night.  Set it up.  All because I’m horribly insecure.  And he saw right through me and didn’t give in. 

Good on Sir I say (now in hindsight, which is a wonderful thing, and with lots of helpful advice from my friend Sweetgirl)

I go out of my way to brat.  I test him constantly.  This just doesn’t work.  This was proved profoundly to me on Sunday night/Monday morning.

I can honestly say it’s a   ...