A bit of a mish-mash post

My posts are now out of sync.  This is the one I planned to send,  basically a follow up to last weeks "trouble".  Its a bit of a mish-mash post, mixed up a little like the picture.  My post last night was an unplanned quickie (don't we just love those unplanned quickies hehehehe).

 

Our routine is going along.  Sir is getting used to the hours, albeit the weekends are kicking his butt at the moment.  He will get the hang of it no doubt.

 

Sir certainly got my “I just need to be spanked and sent to bed early” message that I sent him last week.  After my little “hissy-fit” on Thursday morning (already a week ago - wow) he dealt with me swiftly and efficiently on Thursday night before he went to work. 

 

Let me introduce to you all to my mortal enemy new best friend…whitetail.  Sir’s home-made implement.  She is not exactly new, but she hasn’t been out for a while.  Quite a while in fact.  She is a fiberglass rod, just like one of these, but folded into two and taped at one end to make a handle.  She is quite short and there is no "bend" in her.  So when she hits her target boy oh boy she stings.  Sir decided my attitude on Thursday needed whitetail.  So across the bed I went.  Wow she hurts.  I'd forgotten just how much.  Even just used lightly she hurts.    He got my message but by the end I certainly got his message.  Attitude – back in check.

 

On Sunday we had maintenance, which turned into punishment because he 'wasn’t watching the clock…I was and I took advantage and I was an hour late into bed before he realized.  Over the bed I went again.  I didn’t get white tail this time, but I did get the cane and two tails (our other homemade implement).  But the good new is I don’t have a bed time from this coming weekend for a couple of reasons, one my parents are coming for a visit, and secondly I’m on holiday for 3 weeks.   Yay me. 

 

Anyway, all good so far this week.  I’m an angel in the making.  OK, well maybe I was until last night and my little bedtime rule lapse.  But he hasn't dealt with it.  Probably because he got in really early this morning (still dark outside) and I was still in bed asleep, so he just climbed in and woke me up for something else  much nicer  instead (*wink wink) but did say I was still a very bad little girl for staying up late.  He asked me what I was doing...of course he doesn't know about the blog, so I said I was watching stuff on the computer...not a lie but kind of a lie....Oh God it's getting worse - I'm seriously thinking about telling him about it as this is getting out of hand.  I don't want to lie to him.

 

But I digress. The night shift is hard for me.  In fact, basically it sucks.  I miss him.  We hardly see each other.  Last week he found the time to spank when he had to.  This week not so much.  This week my parents are coming for a week's visit so our maintenance won't happen on Sunday as usual, which is when he would take into account last nights little incident and any other stuff.  I have asked if we could do it tomorrow morning (Friday) when he gets home and before I go to work.  We will see.  I hope so.  Even if he has to wake me up and get me out of bed.  I would love that dominance.  I will get things out ready for him (as is my responsibility to do anyway)  I think I really will need a session tomorrow before my parents arrive.  As much as I love them and miss them I'm stressed.  And Little Miss is coming home tomorrow too which will stress me out even more.  Last year when they came for a visit, there was a huge argument on the day before they left because of me and Little Miss and oh it was horrible.  The very day they left to go home, within the hour of them leaving, I found myself over the end of the bed being dealt with by that horrible white tail.  So I really need a reminder that if I don't reign in the stress and the control freak attitude, whitetail will happen again.  I want to avoid that, so I am going to need maintenance tomorrow morning.  I guess the only thing to do is to ask him for it.

 

Thorn has raised her spiky head once more.  She cannot just leave us alone.  And Sir, for some reason, cannot stand up to her.  I realize communication is needed with Little Miss but she really has no need to communicate with Sir unless its about Little Miss – and it never is.  Text after text after text she is sending him because she knows he is working and is away from me during the night.  Silly stupid things.  Jokes.  The odd I love you and kisses being blown.

 

I know he doesn’t reciprocate these feelings at all.  But he doesn’t put a stop to the text messages either.  I just want him to text her and tell her to stop the communication UNLESS its to do with Little Miss.  If its not about her, he doesn’t want to hear it.  I am so tempted to do something myself.  I had access to his phone this morning and I was so tempted to text her (from him) and tell her to stop.  I could also email his lawyer (as him) and ask her to do something about it too.  But at the end of the day, it has to come from him for it to have any meaning.  So I was good.  I didn’t.  I don't think he would be too annoyed at me if I did.  I think he would understand my reasoning behind doing something like that but he thinks the best way to deal with it is to just ignore it – and he is probably right.  BUT it’s not making me feel good.  And of course he is away from home now and we barely see each other – which is compounding issues.  We don’t even have time to talk about it.  It's not a conversation for the telephone while he is driving.  It’s a face to face conversation.  So, yet again, thorn is sticking her poisonous nodes into me.  And yet again I'm allowing it.  I need to develop a thicker skin over this issue.  But I figure that finally when it doesn't hurt me anymore, will be the time I don't care anymore and that may not be such a good thing.  My New Year resolution is to try and rise above and not be too affected by it.  It's his thing with her.  So long as he has Little Miss, I know he is going to have to deal with her.  So I am going to try and just let it go.

 

Part of this realization is thanks to my friend Sweetgirl, but also all my sorry little woes are put into perspective with the tragic and dreadful act in Newtown.  I have my child safe and alive and well and with me.  I have my step children alive and well.    I AM thankful for that.  Eternally  grateful.

My thoughts and prayers go out to those poor souls in Newtown.  May they rest in peace and I hope the families find some comfort in time.

 

Like I said, a bit of a mish mash.  End of year wind down I suppose.  On the whole, things are pretty good in my little household, I'm struggling but finding strength each day to cope with Sir not being around.   I hope things are good in your households too.