An alternative punishment

Wednesday 18th January 2012.

Normally when I have done something wrong or have been disobedient, I get spanked or paddled, normally.  Over the last few weeks I have been thinking about alternative punishments, what could be used, how effective they would be, how I would feel for example standing in the corner for a misdeed, either instead of a spanking, or before or after one, or being sent to bed or for a time out.  I think its something that I might like to try. 

Only once has Sir made me get into position for a spanking and left me there for a little while contemplating my actions and how I had managed to get myself into that position in the first place and to think about what was about to happen.  That was very effective.  I told him so afterwards but he hasn’t done it since.  Pity!  I quite like that “time out” before a spanking. Lying on the bed, over a pile of pillows, bottom bared, an implement within view, feeling vulnerable.  It focused my mind on what I had done wrong; it helped get my mind and heart to where it should have been in the first place – in submissive mode and then leaving me very contrite and submissive afterwards.  But still in involved spanking.

Last night I got home from work feeling very happy and content.  I had not done anything wrong, no rules had been broken, for two days in a row I had been good, submissive, loving – everything a wife should be.  Everything I want to be.

That’s what I thought.  Sir had other ideas.  I had some errands to run during my lunch break and I was told not to go over board with what I had to buy.  I didn’t think I had done, but in his view, I had.  First rule broken, disobedience.  He had told me not to go overboard, I did.

Coming out of one of the shops I ran in to my parents in law and was talking to them for about 20 minutes.  I didn’t hear my text message from Sir. 

I found it when I got home and quickly deleted it.  Mistake number 2.  I didn’t have my phone quite to hand when the text had come through and even though it was I my handbag I didn’t hear it.  Being in my handbag is not good enough.  Mistake number 3 was deleting the text when I saw it and pretending it didn’t come through in the first place.

I was scolded for these three things.  I was expecting to be spanked at bedtime, but it didn’t happen.  The punishment was being told off.

Today is Wednesday, my “agreed to” scheduled day for step aerobics.  He woke me up and got me out of bed just fine.

I made a cuppa and sat at the computer to drink my tea and then I was all set to get ready to exercise.  I got engrossed in a game of computer chess.  30 minutes later I had to start getting ready for work.  Sir was still asleep.  It was too late to do my exercise tape.

While I was showering he got up and we had breakfast together and I was getting ready to head out of this door but I just couldn’t go without confessing to him and admitting that I didn’t do my exercise.  He really thought I had been good and done my exercises.  I let him down. 

As with what happened last week when I failed to get out of bed and exercise (he brought in the white fibreglass rod “white tail” and gave me 10 hard strokes and a long lecture) I expected the same to happen this morning before I left for work.

It didn’t. 

I got that stern look; he immediately turned to the computer and deleted my chess program.  He lectured me about not exercising and how much good it will do me and how he wants to make sure I am fit and healthy.  He told me that I am no longer allowed the chess game and that tonight when I get home from work no matter how late (grocery shopping night) I have to do my step aerobics and then propelled me out of the door with a very stern goodbye and not his usual tenderness and cuddles and kisses.

I didn’t mean to not to it.  I had everything ready the night before.  His reaction took the wind out of my sails.    He has never really done anything other then spank me for an infraction.  This is new.  He is still being dominant showing his authority by not allowing me my chess game.  And it’s a punishment because I love my chess and now I’ve lost it. 

I have to go grocery shopping tonight after work so it will be late one getting home and then I have to do my step aerobics.  He will probably let me off.  But deep down I don’t want him to. I want him to remind me through out the day that I am in trouble and HAVE to do it when I get home, no matter how late.  I want him to insist when I get home that I have to do it.  But I don’t want to “ask” him to do this.  I want it to come from him.  Is this wanting too much?  I keep asking myself why don’t I just go home and do it anyway, to please him, that’s what it’s all about, submission, doing something for Sir that pleases him, that he has asked/told me I have to do anyway,

I shouldn’t need reminding.  He instructed me this morning that I have to do it and that should be an end to it.  So why is it so hard?  It should be easy.  I wish it was easy.

*sigh*