Am I in trouble Sir? ...... I don't know, let's see....!

Well, what a weekend I had.  I had planned on talking to my hubby about three things I wanted to try and implement into our DD relationship.  You all know how I get churned up and upset and worried about needing to talk about this with him.  Three things I had myself worked up over:

1. Maintenance – a weekly accountability where I stand in front of him and He or I or we go through my little exercise book and he decides whether I am either a good girl and just in need of a reminder spanking, or a bad girl in need of punishment.
2. There and then punishments for breaking rules there and then, like for example the grocery budget rule.
3. Help – well motivation - with my diet and exercise.

Turns out I didn’t need to talk so much at all.

For the first time ever on Saturday night my hubby went through my little exercise book all by himself. 

Firstly, at bed time he took me by the hand and told me it was time for my spanking.  I was speechless - and that for me is hard to accomplish.

Then, he made me stand there naked in front of him while I had to read from my book as to what I had done wrong all week – including that day.  He then took the book from me, made me assume the position and continued to read the whole book all the while he was paddling and caning my behind for all AND I REPEAT all of my infractions in this book.  He warned me he would be making me pay for all my infractions in the book.  And he did.   It was as if he could see inside my head, completely and utterly. 

All I can say is “Owwwww”!

Who has he been talking to?

Has he been reading my blog?

Had he been reading my mind?

Afterward we snuggled and I felt so much better, contented, settled, balanced, loved and very much in love and respectful.  I slept very soundly that night.

Sunday morning dawned and we pottered about doing our chores.  I was busy making the beds and I thought to myself how hard actually is it to just ask my husband, the man whom I completely and utterly trust, to do something that means everything to me, how can I not explain to him, the man I love and adore my deepest desires and needs.

So off I trotted to find him, once again standing in front of him, wringing my hands with nervousness telling him how great the previous night was, but how I need that a lot more often,  like on a weekly basis. 

He looked at my wringing hands and smiled and said

“Yup babe, no problem” - what???  Wait???? It’s not that easy is it?  All that stress and worry???

I stood there and said “well honey there is a little more”

I admit he did try to brush me off, but I reminded him how hard this was for me to talk about and that stopped him and he sat back and gave me the go ahead to talk.

So I did.  I told him that I need a more regular spanking and that a weekly accountability like the previous night would be awesome.  But I still need the there and then punishments as and when I do something wrong, or I break a rule.  He said that perhaps his memory might let that one down as he forgets things.  So I gave him an example of the stupid thing that I did a couple of weeks ago (that I wont go into but resulted in me being paddled) and if and when I break the grocery budget rule.  He said that I don’t overspend anymore, and I said yes, because that one night I did, you took me in hand completely and I’ve haven’t done it since, but that’s not to say its never going to happen in the future.  I’m bound to slip up.    But just things like that.  How can he forget?  He always asks to see the receipt, so he will see when I have slipped up – easy.  So he agreed.

Then I asked for help with my diet and exercise.    I knew what his response would be, as I feared, he couldn’t understand why I just can’t do it.  I did it before, in fact last summer I was getting out of bed two or three times a week to do my step.  Why can’t I do it now?  Well, I said, for one thing, it was the summer. I was on holiday for 4 weeks, easy.  Secondly and most importantly, it was before I had the courage to actually tell him what I needed.  He had no idea about my needs and desires for discipline in the relationship.  OK he said, so you need pain to motivate you.  I nodded, yes please.  If I don’t do it then discipline me.  It will eventually stick in my head that the cane hurts way more than 45 minutes of step aerobics.

Then I went on to diet and just explained the same thing.  So he has agreed to help me in this way.

That night, I took the advice of one of my newest bloggy friends.  I wanted to get out of bed the next morning and do my step but I knew without some motivation I just wouldn’t, its too dark, too early too cold, bed is too warm and snugly next to my man.  So I laid out some pillows and placed the cane on the pillows at the end of the bed.

I then dawdled in the bathroom getting ready for bed into my pajamas until he went into the bedroom first. 

“Babe?  What’s this about?” He asked.  So I went in and said I think I need some motivation sir to get out of bed tomorrow morning.

He didn’t need a second asking, he bent me over, pulled down my pj’s and caned me, making me say out loud each time he swung the cane what I intended to do the next morning – he made me repeat it louder and louder with each swing of the cane until he was sure I actually meant what I said.  I wasnt too sure whether each swing was getting hard as he made me say it louder and louder.

By the end of it I meant it. 

I got up yesterday morning and did my exercise.  I was proud of myself.  He was proud of me. 

After he had finished caning me on Sunday night we didn’t snuggle as such, it was quite a clinical thing, very different to punishment, more motivating and I didn’t feel like I needed comfort, even though it hurt and almost brought me to tears.  We lay in bed and he said to me that if I don’t lose any weight this week then I am in big BIG trouble, so be warned.  Yes sir!  Ill do my best.  Be sure you do girl! 

“Gulp”.  (I used to go to weight watchers and that was always painful in the pocket – now it’s just going to be painful!)

Anyway, he told me before we fell asleep that any time I feel that I need a spanking to simply ask him, or to get out the pillows and the cane anytime at all that I want.

What happens this Sunday?  Do I set up the scene for him to go through the book with me?  Do I just wait for him to see if he does it himself without any prompting?  He may be a little reluctant as we have kids this weekend.  But to be fair, it’s not stopped him in the past.  I know, simply, I have to be quiet when the kids are about; it’s never been a problem in the past.

Maybe I should just go to him each week for a while, until maybe he gets more into the swing of things.  Until he gets it fully into his head this is what I need, desire.  Although in my ideal world I want it to be all initiated by him.  Maybe for the time being he is going to need help in initiating things…I should just go to him each Sunday night and ask him:

“Am I in trouble Sir?

And maybe, hopefully  get the response….

“I don’t know, let’s see….!”