An Incident

 Friday 16th December 2011

We had an incident a week ago.  It’s taken me a long time to process it properly.  And for him too perhaps, but perhaps not.

Last Saturday evening we were having pleasant drinks with a friend, things were jovial, the weather was lovely and we were sat outside.  Eventually the friend left us and we continued a pleasant evening.  Pleasant that is until I got lippy – apparently – I say I was just kidding around – he said he didn’t care.  I got lippy and I told Sir to just shut up.  He reacted quickly and sharp and I didn’t see it coming.

The next thing I know is he has a handful of my hair in his hand, puling it hard, he has hold of my arm twisting it behind me and he propels me quickly into the bedroom, and pushes me face down on to the bed, where I expect to be spanked, hard.  But he didn’t.  He just leaned on me and severely told me off and to never ever talk to him that way again.

It shocked me so much I just sat and cried on the bed while he disappeared into the bathroom.  He came out a short while later and told me to get to bed.  I did.  I tried to stay away from him.  I was crying and I was on the farthest side of the bed possible.  I felt him reach out to me, and I avoided him so he grabbed my hair and pulled me closer to him, he wrapped his arms around me while I cried on his chest.  He kissed the top of my head, told me not to do it again, I simply nodded and we slept.

Sunday morning dawned bright and sunny but I didn’t feel it.  I was quiet and shy, keeping my head down low I guess.  He carried on as if nothing happened, and just mentioned passing me by that perhaps Ill now learn to keep my tongue in check.  I actually asked him why he didn’t spank me and he just said he didn’t need to and it’s entirely up to him if where when and how he punishes me.

Yes sir was how I responded.  There could be no other appropriate response.

We talked a bit later and he was quite proud of himself that he had responded immediately to behaviour of mine that he didn’t like and wanted stopped. 

The rest of the week until Wednesday morning has been strained, well to me it has, maybe not so much to him.  He had yet to punish me for last week’s infractions.  From Sunday he kept saying “tonight’s the night baby” I kept saying “yes sir” but nothing happened. 

I was frustrated, disappointed, scared, upset, and relieved, all at the same time.  I was a bundle of emotions and just not quite sure how to deal with what happened, the Saturday incident and then the lack of punishment during the week, which was coming but never did.  I spent two nights not sleeping, and working myself up.

Wednesday morning I broke down finally.  I sat on the edge of the bed and just cried and told him that I didn’t want to be scared of him that I didn’t sign up for that kind of punishment, and speaking of punishment if he didn’t want to do this anymore, then tell me, don’t just say its going to happen and then not do it.  I can’t handle it. 

He cuddled me and kissed me and reassured me that he would never ever hurt me. But he has no intention of stopping spanking me when I need it, that he will punish me how he sees fit, not as I dictate.

That night, he decided he had let it go too long, and I was punished for all my previous week’s infractions.  While he was stood there with the cane in his hand telling me to bend over the bed, he told me to bury my head in the pillow and take what was coming to me.  I did.  It hurt and I cried.  It was a relief.  The tears flowing freed all my emotions that were pent up.  I think he had been wary to spank me after Saturday, I was certainly wary of being spanked after Saturday.  But when it came, it was good, it reconnected us, it reset me, it reassured us both that this is what we want, it helps us.  After he had finished he just laid on top of me holding me until I stopped crying and then he made other emotions flow from me and it was amazing, it was the best.  I slept like a baby that night.

Then yesterday after dinner I needed to wrap a couple of presents, I couldn’t find the tape and got a bit – well frustrated.  He said if he had to get up and if he found it I would be in for the sorest arse ever.  This was said in front of the kids. 

Well he did find it.  I didn’t end up with the sorest arse but I did end up being walked into the bedroom, the door closed and locked a gentle hand pressing me down over the side of the bed and two hard swats with the paddle for not looking properly in the first place and just to prove a point that he means what he says.  Immediate consequences and if he says he is going to spank me then he will, regardless.

We walked out of the bedroom hand in hand and the kids didn’t even bat an eyelid, just carried on doing what they were doing.  But then, the kids are very used to seeing him swat me as I walk past, they are used to hearing him say Ill be in trouble, they are used t hearing him being the boss, he leader being in charge of all of us.  He does the flyby swats all the time nowadays, I think they understand the hierarchy in our family, dad is the leader, we follow.  They see the affection between us, the intimacy and tenderness, the love and respect and that can only be a good lesson for them.

I think, I hope, I pray that  we might just be back on track.