That old Chestnut "Inconsistency"

Even after all this time it still raises its ugly head. So, to all HOHs out there, please try and understand how inconsistency makes us feel. You set our rules, and the consequences... And then we go and break a rule. We acknowledge this when you tell us off and warn us to expect a punishment for it. We prepare ourselves and resolve ourselves to accept the due punishment with grace and dignity. We are repentant (on the whole that is) and we promise that we will try to do better. We swear to ourselves that it wont happen again. We submit to you with our hearts and souls and await our fate...... ........ But then punishment doesn't happen. The wrongdoing is not even acknowledged again. It confuses us. It makes us feel angry. Hurt. Worst of all I N D E P E N D A N T; that we CAN do what we want, behave how we want. It also makes us feel unworthy of your attentions. It makes us think that whatever we did wrong in the first place, doesn't really matter to you so we can do it again without fear of consequences. That thought then flows on to well, we don't really matter to you. And we know this is irrational but its how we tend to feel, or how inconsistency makes us feel. It's like we take a breath and hold it while we await our sentence...and then we can't breathe again until its over. But if it never happens, we keep holding our breath. I always figured inconsistency was worse when we first started this DD relationship. But when it happens when you are well and truly into the journey and both parties are happy with how everything is going, comfortable with being the punished and the punisher...well inconsistency is even worse. Inconsistency? Well, I think it’s worse than any punishment that can be metered out. And inconsistency in an established DD relationship - well it just plain sucks. Just sayin!