Here is me, in my last post, waxing lyrical about how wonderful life is at the moment when in fact I have something on my mind that I think I need help with.
I know what the right thing to do is, but I am scared to do it. I need to confess to Sir about something that happened between Little Miss and me last week.
I have probably said in the past that Little Miss and I sometimes don't get along very well. Last week she was on the computer and she knocked something off the table because she had a lot of clutter and toys on the desk with her. She, of course, lost her temper with herself and started yelling and shouting as she does. I tried to help her by clearing away some of her stuff and de-cluttering the desk so that she had room to type and play on the computer, she began to yell at me and she turned around and hit me. Despite her age she has some force behind her and she meant it. It didn't hurt, hurt but I felt it. I am ashamed to say that I slapped her back. Not hard of course, and not a full on palm of the hand on her cheek kind of thing, merely a tap with the finger tips. It stopped her temper tantrum and after a 20 minute sulk in her bedroom she has been right as rain with me ever since.
I don't for one moment condone what I did.
I have not told Sir about it. I feel a guilty as hell. But I keep putting off telling him. I don't know whether to tell him or not. I have no idea what his reaction will be.
hey glad your back, awww I hate when I have to tell on myself but I do because it eats at me..good luck
ReplyDeleteI don't see that its something you have to "confess" unless you have an agreement that you share all parenting issues with him. She hit you, you firmly returned the smack. Probably not the best parenting moment, since you want her to know that hitting is wrong..but you did stand up for yourself and had an understanding together about boundaries that you have personally! You are not your child's punching bad. I have never been hit by one of my children but if it happened their world might come to a crashing halt for awhile. I'd make it a memorable moment/day/week for them!
ReplyDeleteI don't see it as something you have to confess. But if you feel guilty and its becoming an issue because you have a wall between you, an invisible one, then share it with him.
Glad you're back too. I have to agree with Stormy, the child misbehaved and you disciplined her. Not the route you'll usually take, but even in the school system where you would never want to strike a child we are allowed to defend ourselves when somethings 'shocks the conscience'. You will have to decide whether or not to discuss it with her father. But if you do I would present it simply as a fact and not a 'confession'. You may need to have a calm family meeting to discuss what is allowed and what is a hard line.
ReplyDeleteI understand how easy it is to strike back. Maybe teach her some ways to regain self control? I had to do that with my oldest.
ReplyDeleteConfession is hard but it is probably the right thing to do
Isn't respect what is always demanded of you, then why not Little Miss. She was disrespectful in the worst way. Stopping her temper tantrum was your job as a parent and if you share it with Sir I suggest you do it in just that way. I do think you should share it with him however because if she brings it up, it will be her version of what happened, not yours.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are back too. Hope everything else is working out as planned.
Hi Kiwi,
ReplyDeleteAwe, I can understand your dilemma and have to agree with the others. You had to stop her temper tantrum resolve the situation. I know in your case this is something he would expect you to tell him. Besides, as Sunny said, if she brings it up it will be her version.
I agree too, I would 'discuss' rather than confess. Give him the full facts of what happened.
Hugs,
Roz
Kiwi,
ReplyDeleteSo good to see you.
Its obviously on your mind so I would agree with some of the others. Speak with Sir about it. Not as confession but a discussion as Roz says. I think it would be the right thing to do.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Yep have to agree with others, a confession implies you have something guilty to confess...you dont, its certainly something to be discussed, perhaps the three of you together.
ReplyDeletex
hi guys - oh boy it is so good to be back, even if it is intermittently for the moment. Sir had a week of work but it was for a shut down and now its finished, so no work again. He is out this morning driving around the city dropping his CV off and various places. Please keep your fingers crossed for us that he finds something really soon...and something permanent.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I have given much thought to your comments - and I now see that I don't have a confession as such but a discussion as to her aggressive behaviour is needed. Thanks you lot for making me see that. and it is true if I don't tell him first, it certainly will be her version and if she tells her mother Sir will feel ambushed...so I do need to tell him. What would I do without you lot eh :) thanks heaps.
Ill try to be back soon - its going to be intermittent at the moment but better than nothing at all :) see you all soon
Love and hugs kiwi xxx
Glad to see you back Kiwi! I am wondering how old Little Miss is? My kids, who are in their thirties now, were brought up to see my wooden cake mixing spoon residing on the kitchen dresser. They knew full well that if they were disrespectful in any way, that wooden spoon was exercised on the back of their thighs. We have often talked about how to discipline kids, as my daughter now has her own, and the conclusion is that being respectful is very important to both of them.
ReplyDeleteOnce they reached the age of ten they were simply sent to their rooms. It wasn't nearly as effective as I would find myself giving in after the first hour.
I think if anyone has a magic formula for dealing with kids, especially teenagers, they ought to let us all in on it!
For what it's worth, I think you did just what I would've done, but I think I would talk it over with Dad, because I'm sure he wouldn't want his daughter behaving like that either.
Many hugs
Ami
I agree with the others. This isn't something that you should approach as a confession, and you certainly need to discuss how to react to these kinds of situations. It's always best to have a plan, and this is an excellent opportunity to work one out with your Sir.
ReplyDelete